How to STOP Pleasing & Start Teasing

In the past few years, a silent epidemic has spread its nasty virus across the inter webs. That epidemic? It sneaked into our lives like the thieves who snuck into the Hatton Garden Safe Deposit Company to pull off the biggest jewellery heist in UK history last year.

(Yeah, they did get caught eventually too.)

This epidemic is responsible for the demise of millions of businesses.

It costs people like you and me hundreds of thousands of dollars in missed profits and it’s so fucking stealth, that it manages to be the single most responsible cause for the lame-ass sameness we see all around us, every. fucking. day. of. the. week.

Let’s call this epidemic Vanilla.

Vanilla is lame.

Vanilla has no backbone, no opinion, no passion, no originality, no PERSONALITY!

Vanilla is happiest when she can follow.

When she gets told what to do and when.

Vanilla doesn’t like to argue, and she would rather keep her opinion to herself to avoid causing an argument OR, goodness forbids… rile up an enemy!

Vanilla is a master at masking her thoughts and emotions in order NOT to stand out. Mind you, it’s not because she doesn’t like controversial topics—but she prefers to be on the safe side as a consumer, rather than an active participant—because she doesn’t want to get caught up in the fight.

Because—heaven forbid—it could make her look like a fool.

In order to stay SAFE, Vanilla has dedicated her life (+ business) to standing on the sidelines and watching on (with various degrees of envy) as others march past her to claim the limelight.

She’s a follower.

She’s a reactor.

Vanilla is quite happy in her false sense of safety. Let’s just say ignorance CAN be bliss.

And herein lies the whole fucking issue!

Unless Vanilla stands up and takes a stand and starts doing things her way, like sharing her fierce beliefs and opinions, she will NEVER be one of the leaders she aspires to be.

She will never be a millionaire.

She will never have the time freedom and abundance she wants.

She will never get noticed in the sea of same-ness.

Can you recognise Vanilla in and around you?

I know I have. I stuck a mirror in front of myself and what I saw repulsed me. It made me want to gag at my lameness.

Seriously! But like you, I’m only human. I grow every day. I fuck up. I move on. I’m intelligent enough not to repeat the same mistakes. Although, sometimes I do.

Yep. That’s just who I am.

Maybe you want to gag too, when you’re game enough to look in that mirror?

I DARE you to.

Maybe your persona contains slivers of Vanilla… or chunks?

Maybe you’re done playing small?

Maybe you’re ready to take your seat in the limelight?

Or maybe… you just had a gut full of being so-so… average… boring!

Nice, but boring. Yawn! Can we just pass on the remote and go to sleep already?

However, if you’re READY to change your flavour, this is what needs to happen first:

You must embrace your shadows and light them up for the world to see.

You must honour your opinion above the opinion of others and not be afraid to state them (and FYI: it is possible to be opinionated + courteous).

You must be willing to share your views and be imperfectly imperfect, and accept that BOLDNESS and AUTHENTICITY make for a killer combo that results in enemies (you can’t please everyone all the time).

You must learn to respect yourself more than others, meaning… stop giving away your power to others. Stop being so fucking nice all the time if it is costing you your happiness + success.

But above everything else, you need to stop pleasing others. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

If you don’t want to do it, say NO.

If you can’t manage, admit it.

Superheroes have faults too. They’re messed up. Like you + I.

You don’t have to HAVE all the answers all the time and be at the ready for everyone else, especially NOT at the expense of your happiness and wellbeing.

If you want to tease people with your awesomeness, start showing us your PERSONALITY!

Be bold. Fierce. Opinionated. Proud. Angry. Take risks!


And be brutal in eliminating stuff (+ people) from your life that no longer serve you.

No leader has become a leader by staying small, safe, protected.

If you want something bad enough, fight for it.


Want to tease people with your words?